‘Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing. Yet the timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness and knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream’.
Gibran the prophet 1923.
Aging brings less anxiety about failing in life and more anxiety about the future.
Perhaps we become more aware of the passage of time as we age. When younger we seem to be forever chasing time, running after it. Work, appointments for this and that, fitting in leisure and love. Struggling up hill with everyday events and looking ahead for space.
Aging brings more time but small things in each day can become bigger than they really are and one important event like a visit to the doctors or hospital appointments are the event to work around. Meeting friends for lunch, shopping and the simplest things now dominate the day.
When young I always kept a diary for work and social events which was a mass of scribbles fitting in and scratching outs. I could do several things in a day alongside working full time. Living on a map of life, a plan already laid out and worked into a structure that seemed essential at the time. Mustn’t miss this and must fit bla bla into the week. Chasing after something set somewhere in the near future. Filling life with must does, failing to notice how the days and weeks become years passing like scenery through the window of a fast moving train.
Having time in older age and especially retirement is a blessing and a curse. Blessing because now it’s possible to do the things you needed and wanted time to do when younger. Curse because half of them, suddenly you cannot do because of various physical reaons. Perhaps health issues one didn’t envisage at even sixty have slowly taken hold of you by seventy.